Learning Together

My daughter stayed on campus with me today. I teach at 9am and 11am, and she spent that time in my office watching cartoons.

Between 10am and 11am, we took a trip to the local donut shop. The proprietor asked us what we were up to this weekend. I mentioned that it was my daughter’s birthday on Monday and that we would be partying down. My daughter hid behind me and softly said thank you when the proprietor told her happy birthday. Because the donuts were made fresh, we perched ourselves in two chairs and talked about the morning. She told me what she had learned from “Hero Elementary,” her chosen cartoon for the morning.

When the donuts came out, the co-owner had a surprise: a plate with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” written in script with chocolate sauce as well as a cupcake marshmallow with a birthday candle on it.

“Happy Birthday, princess!” she told my daughter.

When my daughter is with me, I get looks and remarks from people that are full of grace. They don’t know my daughter. She certainly has doesn’t done anything to deserve the goodwill she receives. But she gets it.

Later, as we were eating the donuts (they were delicious), my daughter praised me. I knew that the praise was undeserved. I hadn’t done anything. Neither had she. That’s why the gift we received–her chocolate birthday wish, my time with my daughter as she received that gift–was so precious.

Lo, the times of fund raising are upon us.

Our daughter has brought home a sure purpose: get us to sign up for her school’s fun run and give her money for the school’s fund raiser.

“What’s a fund raiser?” I asked her.

“I don’t know!” she said. “It’s for the school!”

She has distressingly talked about eating less so she’ll be “thin” and thus capable of running more and earning more money.

This feels like a series of land mines for us to navigate over the next week or so. The event is a week from Friday. We’ll see what things look like a week from now.

Update: I have donated money (a flat donation, not a per-lap thing), and my daughter has been exposed to COVID and may not get to run the race anyhow. The irony!

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my wife both drops off and picks up our daughter from school. I’ve got her on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I’ve known for awhile that our daughter acts differently when she’s only got me around than when she’s only got her mom around. Today proved the point.

On the way to school, our daughter said she didn’t want to go. This was despite the fact that she’s had nothing but good things to say about school and the fact that she was making the trip with her older cousin who she idolizes. In fact, her older cousin goes with her to school every day, and though that cousin doesn’t like school that much, she’s been a great help in getting our daughter excited about attending these first two weeks.

Today, none of that mattered.

Our daughter apparently bickered with my wife in the car on the way to school then refused to get out of the car in the drop-off line. My wife was furious just telling me about the incident.

“What did H. do?” I asked, referring to our niece.

“She tried to cajole her.”

It worked. Our daughter went in.

She then proceeded to make friends, get rewarded for good behavior, and have a great time. She was chagrinned at having me bring the event up to her this evening when my wife was out feeding the chickens.

This was not a case, it seems to me, of real disenchantment with school or even growing disillusionment. This was a straight up plea for attention and care from her mama.

My internal comment? There’s no escaping school and the education and discipline it brings. It can happen with a bunch of other kids or it can happen with me at home.

We’ll see what she has to say tomorrow. I’m on drop-off and pick-up duty.

We attend a small, rural church. The average age of the 20+ members is 70. Consequently, our daughter is a belle of the ball. She’s full of life and the youngest attendee by several decades.

I’ve been playing piano for worship in our regular piano player’s absence, and in the past few weeks, I’ve been tasked with leading choir as well.

I quickly exchanged the piano for a guitar, and as a result, we’ve done some peppy numbers. One choir member thought percussion would be a nice touch, and inspired by my daughter’s presence in our platform choir pews, the member gave Cat some instruments to play along with us.

Sunday morning, we tried her out, and my daughter nailed it. She was steady and energetic. Everyone in the congregation loved it. The song, “Celebrate Jesus,” was much more celebratory because of her contribution. It was a joy to look at the crowd’s faces as they mouthed the words and looked at the five-year-old wielding the shaker.

My daughter found a small way to provide value and worshipped God in the process. It really was a beautiful thing.

Today was another day of hit or miss daughter interactions, but the keeper for the day doesn’t involve me at all.

After our typical Saturday morning donut and library run, she had some space for doing her own thing. She proceeded to go into the guest bedroom, stand on the bed, and deliver a sermon. Her subject? The gospel.

We heard:

1. John 3:16
2. The doctrine of Christ’s being truly God and truly man
3. The amazing state of a king in a manger
4. The sacrifice of Christ on the cross
5. Some basic motivational techniques, i.e. a call to action

It was humbling. My wife and I stared at each other. Who was this person who just ten minutes before was throwing a fit about cleaning up her room?

The truth: we are more responsible than we think for both our daughter’s tantrums and moments of insight. She’s listening. She’s watching. That’s humbling.

The Lord prompted me to memorize scripture, so I’ve been trying to memorize a verse a day from Ephesians. I have a pretty good app for scripture memorization that allows you to record your voice reciting the scripture then compare it against the verse.

I showed my daughter the app and my attempt to remember Psalm 1:1-2.

Blessed is the man who walks not in the council of the wicked, nor stands in the way with sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.

ESV

She wanted to do one, so we opened up John 3:16. She looked over the verse and then preceded to recite it by heart.

“That’s the gospel,” I told her.

I pray she meditates on the truth of John 3:16 day and night. That’s true wisdom and delight.

It was bound to happen.

Today was the first day I didn’t take take or pick up my daughter from school.

Instead, I drove 50 minutes to my university for an all-day faculty development day.

When I got home, she was at her grandmother’s. After dinner, she went over to her great aunt’s accompanied by my wife.

I spent dinner time with her. That’s about it.

What did she do at school? From what I could tell, she went to the library, attended art class, and came home with a snotty nose. She also brought home two library books, so there’s that.

This evening, I walked into her bedroom where she was in her bed reading. I asked her about the gospel and the purpose of life. I prayed for her health and helped her blow her nose.

“Love you, daddy,” she said.

Inspiration to be there tomorrow.

On the way home from school, I’ve started asking my daughter and her cousin (who we pickup and drop off from school too) what they learned that day. So far, we’ve gotten small things about maps and math.

But on the way home today, the pair wanted a quiz, and the conversation led to a precious moment.

As we neared home, I asked my daughter, “What is the gospel?”

“Death, burial, and resurrection!” she said eagerly. We’ve been talking about it the past few days.

“Of who?” I asked.

Continue reading ““I Love God.””

My daughter brought home a notebook from church on Sunday. She called it her “prayer journal.” Over the past few days, she’s drawn pictures and (with her mama’s help) added captions for her prayers.

They include:

1. Gratitude for the Bible and Jesus dying on the cross
2. Prayers for world peace
3. Requests that God bless my wife and me
4. Personal petitions for bravery, friends, and strength

The pictures and captions blew me away.

Earlier in the afternoon, I was seriously upset with her about her attitude. This was a relief and a convicting call for me to be the kind of father who continually points my daughter to God.